How to Snatch a Celebrity Photo that’s Worth Talking About

‘By any means, get a shot!’ should be your philosophy if you wish to make it big as a paparazzi. But if you are dealing with someone like Britney Spears who likes to give the paps a call before venturing out of her home, then it’s ‘no poblemo’. But sometimes, you do have to call on your good old tactics to get that prized celeb photo.

One sure-fire trick to get a famous photo is to provoke a star Intentionally!
When someone like Quentin Tarantino asks a simple question like What’s going on here, don’t respond. You are sure to catch a good take of a famous director getting loose of his wits. Then he’d go slapping someone around while threatening him to a beat-down. Now that’s definitely a worthy shot. Problem is you are the victim. But hey, it’s just part of the operating costs, isn’t it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFAypF7aT00

Or you can stage a car accident with Catherine Zeta Jones. Now that will definitely drive her out of the car and into your clear shooting view.Maybe you should try and videotape Woody Harrelson while he’s headed out of a famous celebrity club after a night of fun and relaxation. If he asks you to stop shooting (nicely at that), don’t badger until he tries and choke you to death. Then you can go to the police and recount your near-death experience. Don’t forget to file a law suit!

You can also take your minivan into action and have it rammed against Lindsay Lohan’s Mercedes. Now you, and about three other paparazzis, can get a good shot of the teenage star in her distraught state.

Or you can take a picture of Cameron Diaz and her sweetheart Justin Timberlake in their most generous state. You can simply wait for the couple to go walking with a friend and a dog. Then you can barge in with your Toyota 4Runner and hit the friend. Voila! You get a shot of Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake running to a friend’s aid.

You can also follow Reese Witherspoon to the elevator while she takes her daughter to a pediatrician. Then scream profanities right smack in her face. Don’t forget to put your camera into a rapid-fire click mode. Now you can get pictures of that charming face getting all shocked and morbid. Maybe she won’t be too adorable anymore. Or you can have her car sideswiped after a day spent at the gym. You can even go ramming the back of her car.

Also, you might want to catch Hugh Grant in a bad mood, maybe after he’s just broken up with girlfriend Jemima Khan. Ask him to give you a smile and be surprised as you get chased down the street and kneed at the groin. Then you can go to the police and give a full report on how the actor launched a tirade of abusive words against your children, wishing that they’d die of cancer.

Or you might as well prepare for real action. You can take that grand queue and wait for your turn to give Britney Spears a nice shagging time. As a matter of fact, the crazed star has already allegedly had an orgy with 29 other paparazzi. Why not join the action and take the pictures first-hand? Then you can sell the female celebrity photo for thousands of dollars and boast of having penetrated the star’s privacy big time!

Now you ask, are these tactics legal? The Right to Privacy holds the credence it deserves as accorded by the Law of the Land, but it does have its loopholes. One of these loopholes is a person’s attribute that makes him worthy to pass for the category ‘public figure’. And so long as you are taking the picture from a public land, maybe from the street across the star’s home or on top of a nearby tree, you can get around the law.

Just make sure that you are not taking Sienna Miller’s celebrity nude photo while shooting the movie ‘Hippie Hippie Shake.’ You just might get awarded with $75,000 worth in damages as payment to the actress. But then again, it’s just part of the operational costs, right?

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